Amy couldn’t stop checking her iPhone anxiously every five minutes. She was running out of time to get things done and she was starting to fret. It was imperative that everything was perfect tonight. It wasn’t every day that her sexy, hardworking boyfriend Josh turned thirty!
She had spent the entire day cleaning the apartment, in-between waxing her legs and waiting for her tan to dry. She’d also found time to make lasagne and buy a six pack of Josh’s favourite beer. The dinner table had been moved to right in front of the TV where she had hooked up the hard drive full of all of Josh’s favourite shows. It had taken a long time too! Amy hated dealing with technology; she preferred to leave it all up to Josh.
While being a domestic goddess she had somehow managed to apply makeup, style her hair and wriggle into her expensive French lingerie; the black and purple number he had bought her last Christmas. Over the top she was wearing a blue dress that showed off her teeny tiny waist and generous curves. Her legs were as smooth and soft as they had ever been and she’d even managed to get them to have that subtly shiny look the women always had in razor advertisements.
Tonight was all about Josh and whatever Josh wanted, but she had a little surprise in mind too.
Josh sat in his office, waiting for the clock to tell him to go home, feeling pretty glum about turning thirty. He was starting to think that maybe his best years were already behind him and from here on out his life would feel like one milestone after the other on the ultimate path to death. It was a cheery sort of thing to think about.
A part of Josh hoped that going home to Amy would make him feel better about the occasion but another part wanted to avoid going home at all. Amy was sure to be making a big deal out of this. She had probably invited his entire family over for dinner, as well as all of their closest friends. He would be expected to smile and laugh and nod graciously at all their well wishes while secretly hating himself on the inside.
Josh couldn’t be blamed for being concerned either. Amy had a habit of going all out on special occasions. The parties were always too big and too loud with too many people, not to mention the expense. Josh was a homebody while Amy liked to get out and be part of the scene. Usually it worked out fine, except on birthdays, when one was bound to over or under whelm the other.
Finally the office started packing up for the evening and Josh grabbed his briefcase and headed to the train. But on the way to the platform Josh paused, standing outside his favourite bar for after work drinks. After a moment of hesitation he decided to head inside and buy himself a couple of birthday rounds.
A couple of birthday rounds are a terrible idea when you’re already feeling shit about your birthday. Two rounds quickly became five and within the hour Josh was well and truly intoxicated. Not ordinarily much of a talker, he could be found deeply engaged in conversation with the bar tender, discussing the meaning of his life.
To read more about Amy’s Show for Josh, visit Amazon.